Thinking Positive

I am trying to think positive.

Yesterday's funk captured me for most of the day. It wasn't a productive funk either. About all I got accomplished was transplanting the bell pepper and banana pepper sprouts into bigger pots and moving them to the backyard and sweeping the heck out of the front porch.

My mind just won't stop. Period. Had a "big talk" with Mr. Smarty Pants yesterday about what he thinks about going back to a regular school. I think what kind of crushed me was how eager he is. He is counting down days, wants a haircut, and very excited to ride a bus.

WTH?

Can't really expect gratitude from a 7 year old, I guess, but boy, a lot of love, time, effort and sacrifice went into trying to get him the best education at home. This is the same boy who was literally begging not to go to school, inventing illnesses, hating every minute of it before we started homeschooling.

Go figure.

Mr. Autism broke a door frame yesterday- cracked it from the floor to about halfway up. He wasn't even mad, just playing exuberantly with one of his trucks. I was 3 feet away, eyes half on him, reading an old Nora Roberts favorite to try to shake off the general feeling of anxiety and discontent when he said "whoops".

The beloved geek said a few different words, not quite fit to print, when he came home and saw another project added to the neverending Mr. Fix It list.

I need to do a laundry marathon, apparently. Our closet is full of clothes for the beloved geek, but I guess they don't fit right (must've shrunk- yeah, that's it) so he's down to just a few favored pants and shirts. This is also the morning the little sweetheart from down the street comes to "pre-school play" so I at least had motivation to sweep and run the dishwasher already.

I'm trying to look at this new situation in a more positive way. There seem to be no jobs out there. Therefore, it should take a while to get one. In the meanwhile, maybe the beloved geek's employer will either rectify the situation with his "promotion" pay scale issue or he will earn a promotion that actually is a traditional promotion. Having the kids at school all day will theoretically give me free time. If I spend an hour a day on housework and an hour in the garden (or some combination of the two activities in a two hour window), that should leave me with roughly four hours a day to myself. There's no good reason why that time can't be spent writing. It would be the best kind of writing time too- interruption free. Maybe then I could make better than snail's pace progress on The Beast, finish it, and start looking for a publisher.

Also, hey, there's the lottery.

Both could happen. I like my chances with the book though. Maybe it is a blessing in disguise.

I just have to remember to think positively and have faith that this is all part of the master plan.