20.

Twenty children, six adults and one sick, sick individual lost their lives today at Sandy Hook Elementary in Newtown, Connecticut. It's a K-4 school.

My son is a 4th grader. I know his people. They are on the cusp of becoming adolescents. Pop music, fauxhawks, legos, superheroes and a gently fading belief in magical thinking are hallmarks of the age. Still tenderhearted, navigating the emotional waters of complex friendships. He's still inclined to revert to calling me "Mommy", as long as no one else is around, unless it's Daddy.

These were still little kids. School should be a place of safety. Sitting out for recess time should be the worst thing that has to happen. Maybe Mom or Dad has to sign a test that didn't turn out great. Maybe your best friend is mad at you because you both want to pretend to be Spiderman. Small people should have small troubles.

Elementary school was my area when I was teaching. I loved those kids. Still do. I see their little faces in my head. They have a place in my heart. I know their families. I cannot abide the thought of anything happening to those kids. And the simple fact is that all kids are like those kids that I know and love. The locations, names, hair colors, which teeth have been lost, and what characters are on backpacks are just different.

Bad things should not happen to children.

This is obscene. It's monstrous. My heart aches. I'm nauseous. I can't stop tearing up. I want to do something, make this undone, make this right, somehow. It won't be. It can't be. I can only pray.

There are 20 children who didn't come home from school today. They deserved better than this. They deserved their futures. My heart goes out to the families and loved ones. We have got to find a way to change things so that this never happens again.